loving & living

And the sun came up. I was wearing his well-fitted white shirt by Ralph Lauren. I first fell in love with that shirt and still couldn't make that love be over. But that moment, I thought ages passed since we were there, on the seaside. I still felt it, it was just... Weaker. Softer.

That morning I didn't make breakfast for him. I didn't wake him up, I didn't called him honey, I just... I was about to leave. And he knew it.

He knew that night was the top of everything. He knew I loved it, I loved it too much. He knew I was dangerous. But he still knew there was actual love between us. That kind of love you never forget.

It had to happen. We both knew that has been the love with capital letters, but maybe we had too much fun. It was good enough for life. It was over.

He once said if people were rain, he was drizzle and I was a hurricane. Yes, I was. But I still loved calling him my love, I still loved him even if my carrier was the first, I still wanted to stay there, on the seaside forever. I wanted to have children and never go back to the city.

And, I have to tell you something I haven't told anyone yet. He never knew this. That "goodbye" was the hardest of my life so far. That "goodbye" was different. There was another kind of "oh my god" at the end.

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